Come and sing a simple song of freedom.....damned if what you're feeling isn't change.....alone in the world was poor little anne......dream lover where are you......beyond the sea, waitin' for me....up a lazy river with me, throw away your troubles baby dream a dream with me.....just a jack-knife has old mack heath babe......
Once upon a Time, very long ago....around 1958, a limo pulled up in front of a neighbors house. I never met this young man. (But I bought his records). Our paths took a curious twist over time. Revelations in his life and mine enhanced my understanding of how he felt. He knew he had limited time here, and he did what he could to try to entertain the world, and try to change the world. His song Change, sung by Kevin Spacey in the film "Beyond the Sea" has actually haunted me for the last few weeks. (Great job on that film Kevin - Bob would be very proud). Carpe Deum, Tempes Fugit (pardon any errors here),....I'll be 65 shortly and I'm am the luckiest guy on the planet. Almost left this place 10 times (I mean very, very close to "well it was a nice run").
Many people said Bob was arrogant...driven is the truth, the guy who had too little time, and he knew it. Maybe if we all realized how close we are to not being here, we might live each day a little better, and help other people, be more civil to each other.
"By myself alone,... I'll build a world my own"...maybe we could all build a better world.
"Change...Whatever you've done it's all over, ....yesterdays gone forever"'
Example - Tim Hardin was a friend of a friend of mine in college. (Go get his 1st album - Tim Hardin - go download it now...I'll wait till you come back..... thanks....), so my friend told me about this album, and I listened. Tim was an ex-marine. An amazingly gifted writer and touching performer. He died if s drug overdose much too young. Bob recorded many of Tim's songs from demos he heard - Tim got pissed off when he heard them on the radio. They both got the word out to people and passed through much to quickly.
What they have in common other than a similar sensibility was pain. Two souls in pain. Luckily they shared their gifts with us. Go grab the time you have and use it for good, get politicians, and foolish pundits to listen that CHANGE is really needed. No one can change time and bring these guys back, they live on to warn us how little time we have to clean up our own time. The present doesn't exist but for a glint in an eye between the past and the future - grab the future. I hope my best is yet to come. I put some dreams aside, took paths other than some amazing other paths I had to choose from - sliding doors. The only constant is CHANGE -
lets fix things in a civil manner; support our people who put their lives on the line every day for us; prayers if you got 'em , say 'em. .I ain't goin' your way, get out of my way (Lazy River)....to those who don't get it keep up your Charade.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
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Lillian Part 2 - 1953 Life gets Scarier for Lil
1953- October (day to be added)
2:30 AM
I awaken to Harry calling for Lil in the bathroom next to my bedroom, across the hall from their bedroom -
"Lil, Lil help... he sounds ill and I go to the bathoom door and look into the small room to see Lil trying to help Harry as he's coughing up blood. That was the last night I saw my father alive, or at all. I have forgotten almost everything about Harry prior to that night. Lil made me go to my room, and she just did what she always did, she took control of the situation. These lessons in handling what life smacks in your face helped me, especially in the Army. Most of the time Lil was in control, but...I was sent to stay with my Uncle Jack and Aunt Sylvia Gordon, and cousin Robert Gordon and Sanrda Gordon, for about two weeks while Harry was in the hospital. Harry had a bleeding Ulcer and the operation wasn't handled well. Harry passed away at the age of 44, I was 8, and Lil was 42. Today this condition is almost simple to take care of without problems. I've been told by Harry's close friends that he was a gentle, soft spoken, intelligent and creative person. He made a crystal radio in half a walnut shell. He remodelled our house and did beautiful wood work on the porch, turned a walk in pantry into a comfortable breakfast nook area with custom made benches and furniture, the linoleum floor was hand cut and designed by him. I remember the green shamrock cut and fitted into the floor ceter. He worked for Bendix during WW II. The other memory I have of him is at Chrismas 1952(?), Harry put up a Christmas tree because I wanted one, and there was a train set under the tree, and I had a stocking with my name on it. Later in her life Lillian denied that that ever happened, after all we were Jewish, and I went to Hebrew School. Well, I still have the stocking that hung on our fireplace mantle. (Sorry mom).
In the Jewish religion when a person dies, you cover the mirrors in the house, have the family over to your house, and for a week, you sit "Shivah" (that's how it would sound in Hebrew). It's a sort of extended wake, but in this case the wife sits there and the family and friends come with food, the Rabbi comes over and spends time with the family. That was the weakest I ever saw my mother (other than her unhealthy periods). My first cousins spent time with me, my cousin Lee Walsky stands out in my memory because he brought me books to read and tried to cheer me up. I love books because Lee did this for me. He was an athelete and a great teacher, his sister Martha was another great influence on me. She was about 12 or so years older than me, and she always loved me so much (and I her - my big sister in a way)- very kind and thoughtful, she helped Lil, as did my godmother Aunt Katy's daughter Lil Kurshner Rosenberg. At this point all these people knew I was adopted, I did not know. They just loved me. My mothers sorority sisters were there and hovered over me to make sure I was OK. They all knew I was adopted. My "Aunt" Sonya Litwak, loved me so much, it is hard to express how much love these women showed me at this tough time. Both Cousin Martha Walsky, and "Aunt" Sonya said they wanted to marry me when I grew up. How do you thank people for that kind of love - you pay it forward in your life! Do unto others...show the love. My mothers family was also very influential at that point, my mother helped start a cousins club with her relatives; and she helped run The Shack Family Circle with Harry's sisters and kept the family close until the mid 1960's.
Mom got a job and started work at the Jewish Community Center, six days a week many times. She was back at work after a long gap. I often went to work with her on weekends, or when I was out of school. I helped her at the office, learned to use the office equiptment. Lil also taught me to cook, clean, sew, and other skills, so I would be as self sufficient as possible. If anything happened I could face it like she did. She was not only a leader, manager, organizer, and teacher for me on so many things - she was the glue that kept the family together. She took control of Harry extended family for many years and kept us close for many years. She also kept the family in line politically, at family meetings while playng poker, she was a great card player, she would discuss politics and her ideas. She encouraged my interest in politics at a young age. She was also very tough, read Part 3 - please watch the times begin to change. You'll also meet Sally and Fluffy and 60 feet of Roses -"Mama Liked the Roses".
2:30 AM
I awaken to Harry calling for Lil in the bathroom next to my bedroom, across the hall from their bedroom -
"Lil, Lil help... he sounds ill and I go to the bathoom door and look into the small room to see Lil trying to help Harry as he's coughing up blood. That was the last night I saw my father alive, or at all. I have forgotten almost everything about Harry prior to that night. Lil made me go to my room, and she just did what she always did, she took control of the situation. These lessons in handling what life smacks in your face helped me, especially in the Army. Most of the time Lil was in control, but...I was sent to stay with my Uncle Jack and Aunt Sylvia Gordon, and cousin Robert Gordon and Sanrda Gordon, for about two weeks while Harry was in the hospital. Harry had a bleeding Ulcer and the operation wasn't handled well. Harry passed away at the age of 44, I was 8, and Lil was 42. Today this condition is almost simple to take care of without problems. I've been told by Harry's close friends that he was a gentle, soft spoken, intelligent and creative person. He made a crystal radio in half a walnut shell. He remodelled our house and did beautiful wood work on the porch, turned a walk in pantry into a comfortable breakfast nook area with custom made benches and furniture, the linoleum floor was hand cut and designed by him. I remember the green shamrock cut and fitted into the floor ceter. He worked for Bendix during WW II. The other memory I have of him is at Chrismas 1952(?), Harry put up a Christmas tree because I wanted one, and there was a train set under the tree, and I had a stocking with my name on it. Later in her life Lillian denied that that ever happened, after all we were Jewish, and I went to Hebrew School. Well, I still have the stocking that hung on our fireplace mantle. (Sorry mom).
In the Jewish religion when a person dies, you cover the mirrors in the house, have the family over to your house, and for a week, you sit "Shivah" (that's how it would sound in Hebrew). It's a sort of extended wake, but in this case the wife sits there and the family and friends come with food, the Rabbi comes over and spends time with the family. That was the weakest I ever saw my mother (other than her unhealthy periods). My first cousins spent time with me, my cousin Lee Walsky stands out in my memory because he brought me books to read and tried to cheer me up. I love books because Lee did this for me. He was an athelete and a great teacher, his sister Martha was another great influence on me. She was about 12 or so years older than me, and she always loved me so much (and I her - my big sister in a way)- very kind and thoughtful, she helped Lil, as did my godmother Aunt Katy's daughter Lil Kurshner Rosenberg. At this point all these people knew I was adopted, I did not know. They just loved me. My mothers sorority sisters were there and hovered over me to make sure I was OK. They all knew I was adopted. My "Aunt" Sonya Litwak, loved me so much, it is hard to express how much love these women showed me at this tough time. Both Cousin Martha Walsky, and "Aunt" Sonya said they wanted to marry me when I grew up. How do you thank people for that kind of love - you pay it forward in your life! Do unto others...show the love. My mothers family was also very influential at that point, my mother helped start a cousins club with her relatives; and she helped run The Shack Family Circle with Harry's sisters and kept the family close until the mid 1960's.
Mom got a job and started work at the Jewish Community Center, six days a week many times. She was back at work after a long gap. I often went to work with her on weekends, or when I was out of school. I helped her at the office, learned to use the office equiptment. Lil also taught me to cook, clean, sew, and other skills, so I would be as self sufficient as possible. If anything happened I could face it like she did. She was not only a leader, manager, organizer, and teacher for me on so many things - she was the glue that kept the family together. She took control of Harry extended family for many years and kept us close for many years. She also kept the family in line politically, at family meetings while playng poker, she was a great card player, she would discuss politics and her ideas. She encouraged my interest in politics at a young age. She was also very tough, read Part 3 - please watch the times begin to change. You'll also meet Sally and Fluffy and 60 feet of Roses -"Mama Liked the Roses".
Lillian Part 3 -Roses, Puppy Dogs, and Fights.
1954-1959 Growing up fast.
Lillian adjusted to our new life and as always managed. At first if mom had to work long hours, I'd be shuffled out to a neighbors house for dinner, or at one of my friends houses to wait for her.
Hair salon
Silver's Bakery
The Smoke House
Bus to Newark
Kreske's
Woolworths
Sears records department i if you want records earn them
First records - Elvis, Old Shep, Rip it Up
Elvis - Jewish Bar Mitzvah and gospel music. Sing Boy Sing
Ed lHaupt loans me his guitar
Serious thought about being a Rabbi
Religion goes, Lil's reaction
Lillian adjusted to our new life and as always managed. At first if mom had to work long hours, I'd be shuffled out to a neighbors house for dinner, or at one of my friends houses to wait for her.
Hair salon
Silver's Bakery
The Smoke House
Bus to Newark
Kreske's
Woolworths
Sears records department i if you want records earn them
First records - Elvis, Old Shep, Rip it Up
Elvis - Jewish Bar Mitzvah and gospel music. Sing Boy Sing
Ed lHaupt loans me his guitar
Serious thought about being a Rabbi
Religion goes, Lil's reaction
Asbury Park, NJ - Part Time and Politics
A city to save. One of the places I lived from 1971-77. At the Empress Motel we had a state NJ Young Democrats Convention. The McGovern wing of the party fought the regular conservative Democrats. Great debates, great fun, great friends. I met my future wife Joan Gamberg, David Don (like a brother to Joan and I) ,and several close friends during this pivotal time. Taught part time as a substitute teacher in 1972 at Asbury Park High School. Too close to my return from Viet Nam to be patient enough to teach. Turned down offer at CBS TV with Walter Cronkite, low pay, 3 year Internship (should I have - Don't Look Back). We lived near the Inkwell, listen to "Subterranean Homesick Blues", Bob Dylan. Thanks Mr.Z. Oh and a hi to Madame marie, the psychic near my apartment, down the block on the boardwalk, (look into Bruce S.) Robert Gordon, Dave Edmunds, (Gary thanks for getting us on the bus to meet Dave).
Lived on First avenue 1 1/2 blocks from the beach. 10th Ave (Bruce) was not very far. Bruce put the band together, and played around the corner from my apartment. Lots of clubs, lots of bands, loved the music and the circle. Argued with the mayor about demolishing an Art deco theatre, The Mayfair, we lost that fight. Music, music, music was created.
Lived on First avenue 1 1/2 blocks from the beach. 10th Ave (Bruce) was not very far. Bruce put the band together, and played around the corner from my apartment. Lots of clubs, lots of bands, loved the music and the circle. Argued with the mayor about demolishing an Art deco theatre, The Mayfair, we lost that fight. Music, music, music was created.
Maukie - the virtual cat
